How can I sign up for this class?

All I wanted was a Table-Mate

I rarely eat at home, but when I do I thought something like the above would be useful when I want to veg out with some Netflix (others have too, they just won't admit it.) But suddenly I have all these questions:

1. Would this TV tray make me feel like a spinster? 

2. Will I look as happy as this working woman does in the Amazon ad, with her Mexican dinner?And is this woman supposed to be a spinster?

3. Will this mean I have to buy a cat, and/or this additional accessory?

Reactions from trusted sources have been:

"Buy it...if you want to age 4o years."

"Don't buy it!!"

"Omg, no." and "Please don't"

"Only if you can fold it away and hide it." (Which, might I mention, I can).

Happy Cinco de Mayo

(It's a cover of Cheap Trick, passed on to me by Mr. Birondo)